The Gang Travels to Seoul: Round 1

Unfortunately, now that I finally got around to the Seoul post, I can't remember enough to make a worthwhile story. I'll just include some tidbits and pictures, which we all know is what you really like to see anyway, right?

-Stayed with some friends from Wilmington, who have been in Seoul since late February and were nice enough to house us for the weekend.

-It's amazing how much English everyone speaks. I hardly used any Korean over the weekend.

-The city is extremely massive, and takes more than an hour by metro (which, by the way, is wonderfully set up) to get from east to west.

-We had Indian food for lunch one day, and during our meal our hosts thought it a wonderful idea to make us do a "Disco Jump". It was a ton of fun, but this close (imagine my index and thumb finger as close together without touching as possible) to being a lot less fun. I don't want to imagine Indian food improperly digested. Yeah...too far. Sorry.

-Saturday night was a ton of fun. After doing some shopping and site seeing all day, we wanted some delicious food and soju. Half a pig and x number of soju bottles later, we made our way through part of the city to go to some bars. Everywhere is packed. Every street, every shop, every bar, every bathroom, every cab, everywhere. It was chaotic and it was awesome. Late at night I met a nice taco vendor that made one hell of a spicy taco, particularly because I told him to lay the hot sauce on thick. I love spicy food, says I. Why am I so dumb and hungry at 2 in the morning? Anyway, aside from losing my friends and half my taste buds, Seoul: Round 1 was a success.

Disco Jump

Indian

People tried driving through this! Note Steve and RJ at bottom right

This one

I've been wanting to write about our first trip to Seoul, but things kept coming up, and I just couldn't find the time. Then, on the last day of classes, I found myself doused with extra time after all my classes were cancelled. Great opportunity to do some blogging, I think to myself! All I have to do is turn on the computer. The last few weeks, my school computer has been on a downward spiral. At first I'd have to restart it once or twice for it to stay on, and like an old car in the cold, it just needed some lovin' to get going. This easy-going approach soon turned to contempt, as the "once or twice" restarts soon doubled, tripled, and I just would have loved to climb to the top of the South Korean flag pole on top of the three-story building and hurl the CPU to the ground. Back to the point, though, because everyday it still eventually came on, and usually the maximum time was around 30 minutes. 59 attempts (attempts meaning automatic and manual restarts) and more than 3 hours later, the computer is able to turn on and stay on for more than 5 minutes. I know what you're thinking, but no, "59" is not a random number I came up with to make the reader understand that "yeah, it took a while". I tallied 59 marks on the white board behind me. Triple counted because even I was shocked. Needless to say, after it finally came to, I was not exactly in the mindset to write, so some Seoul pics and stories are due soon.

I Contract Influenza; Become Pregnant

-I was swarmed like no other by my kindergartners today. They are so cute and amiable, always coming up to give me hugs and whisper in my ear, which would be fine if I had a clue what they were whispering about. One little girl followed me around the entire class asking for something, I think. She could have been really sick, pleading for my help, and I had no idea. This is where having a Co-teacher is extremely helpful, except the teacher didn't seem to notice until 5 minutes before class ended, when she then managed to pry the girl off my back. She's okay though, haven't heard any commotion or ambulances yet. Oh yeah, one kid came up to ask me a question and sneezed on me, so I am fairly sure I have influenza. I did some research and found that the virus is spread by the "ah-choo" of Korean kindergartners 99% of the time.


-Last week, I did my normal Wednesday volleyball games and had dinner afterward. Thursday rolls around, and a coworker pops in my room to say we should go play volleyball again...now. I submit, but tell him I have no gym pants or shoes. That's okay, because he has some in his car. Well, he doesn't, so we get there and I play in jeans and boat shoes until Mr. Jang, the second-grade teacher has the grand idea that we switch shoes. What size do you wear? he asks, to which I reply 267. Okay, wear mine, they are 255, you will be okay. Later checking the conversion, that's going from a 10.5 to a size 9 shoe. Walking in them would be fine, but repeatedly running and jumping like a monkey did things to me. Scarred my feet for life. My feet were molded to the shoe afterward; they looked like the feet of Chinese women in the late 19th-early 20th century. Not sure what I mean? Google "Chinese women feet" in images and see for yourself. Note: not for the squeamish. After volleyball three of us go to play Korean billiards, which is a completely foreign and difficult-yet-awesome experience for me. Will try and get a video of it next time, as the 6th grade teacher who played is amazing at it.


-Still am getting used to the "eat/drink while it's boiling hot" ideal here. They finish their soup and coffee before I even start. I seriously feel like I am racing them every time I eat, except they look relaxed and I look like a bumbling idiot with steam coming from my pores.


-Went to an upscale buffet after volleyball one week, called Viking Buffet. Honestly the best buffet I have ever been to. Steak bar, sushi bar (fresh sushi to my Wilmington readers, not China Buffet off Market street quality where they find beached-fish and throw it atop something that resembles rice), freshly grilled pork, bacon-wrapped somethingorothers, elegant chicken and seafood dishes, amazing tempura, fresh-squeezed kiwi, mango, and strawberry juices, cakes and pies and fresh fruits and cheeses, et cetera. After 5 plates, a beer and 3 glasses of juice, they all pointed to me in delight. I never disappoint in countries where dining is the way of life (Spain, Italy, Korea). I just sit back, smile, talk about how delicious it is, and pat my tummy, which they get a laugh at. I keep wanting to throw in a food baby joke, but knowing their stance on premarital relations holds me back. Since I am not married to the food, it might come off as tasteless (get it, tasteless food joke? *uneasy chuckle*).

Some Gongju sites and eats

The Gang Becomes Encased in Cocoon, Lose Steve: Part II

Last weekend Malia and I were lucky enough to host RJ and Steve. Now it is complete: the trio of cities have been visited by all, and all is well. We had such a fantastic day/night/morning on Saturday that some of it must be recounted. 

     It seemed a bit unlikely that we would do anything at all besides laze the day completely away. After some delicious lunch Saturday in Gongju, we all quickly fall into a food coma, and just barely make it back to my place to "nap". 2 hours later, at roughly 5:30, we try and shake off the grogginess with a variation of coffee and chit chat, and eventually come to the conclusion that this cannot be how we spend the rest of the night. No way. We muster up the energy, and get on a bus to the Chungnam provincial capital called Daejeon, 대전, which only takes about 35 minutes. I was told by a few Koreans that if we were looking for good restaurants and nightlife, check out Time World Galleria in the Dunsan-dong area. We make it there pretty easily, and right away we're astounded by the size of this area. I remember commenting after dinner that it was so bright from the neon one could safely assume it was just midday. All 4 of us were starving, and finally just settled on a restaurant that looked popular and decent from what pictures it had on the door. We order the usual samgyeopsal and soju, only to find out it was anything but "usual". This was easily the best samgyeopsal any of us has ever had, hands down, without a doubt, no hesitation. Part of me truly regrets not having a camera handy. The meat wasn't the standard bacon-esque strips cut into squares, rectangles, or other geometric shapes, but thick-yet-tender strips about thumb-width and -length, seasoned to perfection. It looked pretty just sitting on the platter uncooked. We had the standard garlic slices to cook, as well as the thinly stripped green onion (green onion here is far bigger in size and popularity than those found in the US by the way), red pepper sauce, lettuce leaves, et al. Everything about the place was pleasing. We left the restaurant completely satisfied; even our wallets were happy.
     We made our way to a 7-Eleven to get some playing cards, and found a bar to keep us company until we could go to a nightclub. Most bars in Korea require ordering food along with drinks, so we gorged some more "since we had to".
     Leaving the bar, we ran into some Korean girls, who were nice enough to show us around a little bit and eventually led us right to the "happening" club, named Cocoon 코쿤 (a fit name, as you fall into a music coma for the duration of the visit). I think it was around 1 when we made it into the club (thanks for getting separated and lost again, Steve). There was a 15000 won cover that all 4 of us ultimately came to terms with. At first it was sad to see those bills go; we had become somewhat close, and it's never fun when your wallet has an eating disorder and is constantly becoming thinner. However, getting downstairs to the club more than made up for my wallet's weight problem; a multi-level epilepsy-inducing-laser-and-fog-palace filled with 99% Koreans methodically bouncing and moving to the beat, the womp-womp bass that lingers in the ear drums far too long. Korean dancing is so enjoyable here. We always end up with a big group of Koreans, and at times form a large circle, where everyone is rotated to the center to perform their almost-ritualistic interpretation of the womp-womp bass. It's a ton of fun, almost everyone is friendly and up for seeing Americans dance the wee-hours-of-the-morning away. Highlight of the night: Steve and I getting pulled on-stage to dance in front of the masses. We stumble out of there, eardrums bleeding, and around 5 decide it's time to flag a cab in hopes to get home, as it's too early for the buses to start up again. Luckily, try number one lands us with a guy willing to drive us the 25-30 minutes, no problem. Go us.

Me Duhs a Eenglush Festuh Vall

This past Friday, November 18th, I helped out with an English Festival for 4 schools, along with another English Teacher. I am told for a while that really all I have to do is have a short introduction of myself, and come up with a riddle for the students. Note to self: Koreans do not know what a riddle is. They think it is simply a question, like "What color is grass?" and not something with a twist or some sort of enigma. Anyway, as the Festival comes closer, I discover my time slot is 5 minutes, so my riddle needs to be longer, and I should throw in a couple more just in case. Okay, easy. I already have a whole list from before (I used some for my classes).

Fast forward to the event. I have 30 minutes beforehand, which the other English speaker uses to go over everything we're supposed to do, none of which I have seen before. However, most of it is straightforward and simple enough to wing it. That improv class I did back in Summer '03 really got its money's worth!

Fast forward to 5 minutes before. The coordinator for it all, who speaks pretty good English, tells me I need a microphone, and fits me with one of those infomercial, clip-to-the-tie microphones. Only, there's too much interference to have it on my shirt, so I have to hold the tiny mic in my hand. Pretty funny, to be honest.

Fast forward to the act just BEFORE my slot. Coordinator says I should have around 10 riddles, because she has 10 prizes for me to give out and doesn't want any left over. "Is that okay?" This is when I start feeling inadequate as a teacher and human being, because I can't think of riddles at the top of my head while children dance and sing in the background. Then she gives me the suggestion "What color is my shirt?", and I begin to think she is not familiar with the word "riddle." 

Long story short, the whole event is riddled with tech errors (knee-slapping pun intended), so when I get up there and the mic is between a shrill scream and fuzziness, I think it goes slightly unnoticed. It's over before I know it, everyone gives us a hurrah, and we're on our way.

Side note: We did a scavenger hunt at one point, and it was pretty cool to see my students push through the masses to find me for help, and not one of the other Korean teachers like I would've assumed. Pretty neat.

A Must See! Gongju-si At Its Finest!

I Meet Pepero and His Bloody Friends

Today is Pepero Day!-Especially festive because of the year (11-11-11)

To prevent future confusion: pepero are biscuit/cookie-like sticks covered in chocolate. Look at my stash from the day down below. I was told by Mr. Jang, the second grade teacher at Hyopo Elementary, that Pepero Day was comparable to Thanksgiving Day. At first I thought he was joking, but then I remembered last night...People ransacking GS Market for all the pepero they could get, literally running through the store. I wonder what they stock up on during a natural disaster. Thoughts, anyone? Anyway, this is my new favorite holiday. Yes, it's the only holiday I have experienced here thus far. But, I love chocolate. I love it even more when it's free. And I love it even further when it's personally handed to me with a bow, accompanied by a "Happy Pepero Day!"

My glorious stash

-Now, just a quick note on some things I have had, that I think should be public knowledge. I won't even beat around the bush for these...

1. Beetle larvae 번데기, served as a side dish for 삼겹살 one night. It looked like bugs, but I quickly dismissed the idea as absurd. This is the 21st century for typing out loud! We don't eat bugs anymore! That's what they do on Lion King, in Africa, back in the 90s. Long and gone, right? No. Still thriving. Crunchy outer shell, grainy and mushy innards. Sorry Timon, they were slimy, but fa sho were not satisfying.

2. Congealed block of cow's blood 선지해장국, served in a stew. Malia had it, and said it looked like a darker kind of tofu, even tasted like tofu. Must be tofu. I honestly thought nothing of the taste, seemed normal. One try is good enough for me.

3. Pig's head, but this was honestly tasty, I just put it on here because of the obscurity. I have never had it before, and I would enjoy it again sometime. It was cut into squares, served cold, eaten with some rice and kimchi. 

The Gang Sees Fireworks and E.T.; Hilarity Ensues

-Okay, I know my sorry little metaphors are tiresome or, as Aldous Huxley loves to say (just re-read Brave New World), indefatigable, but I have one more. Promise. At my small rural school (~40 students Kindergarten to 6^th grade), I was teaching my 1^st and 2^nd graders (since it’s so small, they put the two grades together) a little story, and noticed, not for the first time, mind you, the difficulty they were having with some of the letters and their corresponding sounds. I think a lot of these kids have been learning on a faulty system; one based off their own language’s pronunciation. They have no /f/ sound in Korean, and for some reason replace it with /p/ for English words. “Fish” becomes “pish” for example. There are numerous others (/z/ becomes /dz/, “zebra” is “jebra”; /l/ becomes /lr/ and /r/ becomes /lr/, “really” is “lrealry”; etc.). Anyway, I was trying to help them with pronunciation, and everything I said, they would repeat… And I mean everything. I immediately thought of E.T., where he learns to speak for the first time with baby Drew Barrymore (“Beeeeeeeeee,” “Elllliooott”…you remember, right?). Let’s see it in instant replay.

Teacher Jeremy: “Andy likes blocks. Repeat!”

Students Unknown: “Andy..lrikes blrocks. Lrepee!”

Teacher Jeremy: “Andy.”

Students Unknown: “Andy.”

Teacher Jeremy: “Good. Likes. La la la la la la. Lllllllikes. Llllllllikes.”

Students Unknown: “Good. Lllllerikes. (Amid laughter) La la la la la la. Llllllllerikes.”

Teacher Jeremy: “Ha ha. Okay.”

Students Unknown: “Ha ha. Okay!”

You can see how some lessons take for ever. For one measly little sentence. No, it's really funny how cute and innocent these kids can sometimes be. Like when one of my 6th graders, ha, I am even laughing aloud as I type. Okay. I was going over an awesome vegetables and fruits slide show for the kids to draw and label. My 6th graders knew the image of "pepper", but only one kid tried to voice the English term, and insisted it was "penis" when I slowly started spelling it out. (On board) P.........E......... "Penis? It's penis?" he asks (completely serious too, he wasn't trying to be funny). I really don't want to laugh OR explain to this kid why that's incorrect, so I jump straight to "It's a pepper!"

Floor 8/14 I think

-A quick QUICK recap of our Halloween weekend in Busan, Korea’s second largest city in Southeastern Korea. Malia, RJ, Steve and I went for 2 nights, and luckily stayed with a friend of RJ’s the first night. We got in pretty late, as it’s a good distance from all 4 of us (even though we took a glorious ride on the high-speed KTX train). On Saturday we made our way to the world’s largest department store, as dictated by Guinness Book of World Records. This 14-store mall devoured hours of our day time, but it was a pretty cool experience. And they had 2 levels of food, so I mean, yeah. Can’t complain there right? I just closed my eyes and let the Fox nose take over. Of course it took me straight to a cheeseburger that I was very happy to dive into. Saturday night, after the now-routine samgyopsal dinner, we enjoyed the world’s largest fireworks festival, atop our friend’s apartment building rooftop in the rain. It was an amazing, freezing, why-won’t-this-end? yet don’t-stop-with-the-fireworks experience. We kicked it old school that night and stayed out until the sun started getting out of bed, which made the trip back horrendous (they fill up trains endlessly, there is no such thing as maximum capacity at all, so if you have any hint of claustrophobia, steer clear of the trains!). Oh by the way, the second night we stayed in a jjimjilbang, which is a public bathhouse (separated men's women’s floors) and a communal hotel. Garage-rag-like pajamas are given to you, as well as a nice wooden block pillow for the ole thinker to rest. “At least it was cheap!”.....What I had to tell myself all night to stay sane.

Good start to any day!

From inside a Gongju restaurant

Eating dumplings (mandu) and bulgogi in that restaurant above this pic

Random-Notes-That-Must-Be-Posted

-On Wednesday (26th), we play some intense volleyball, where the stakes were loser buys dinner. Doesn't sound so bad, but I discover 50 people are gonna be in attendance at this restaurant. We go straight to the place, which seems fairly upscale to me, and the tables are already set up with everything (meat, side dishes, soju, beer, the works). I finally get to be taken to dinner with all Koreans, to really get the dinner experience. Obviously, conversation on my part is limited to pointing, laughing, crying from soju, and cheers-ing. On a side note, we have been trying to find places to eat that have pictures, that way we can get some idea of what we're ordering. Other than that, up until recently that is, we have resorted to caveman-like grunting and pointing for our food, although cavemen probably had it easier. All they had to do was make fires and kill saber tooth tigers. Oh, to be a caveman....How glorious. Now, we can read the language, and look up pretty successfully what the item is. Anyway, the coworker dinner was awesome. On the meat platter was the below-mentioned samgyopsal (pork slices), and duck slices. Both meats were fantasmic, and there was more than plenty to go around. They must have slaughtered half of Korea's livestock to feed this bunch. The soju aspect is interesting. Korean custom basically dictates that you offer someone a shot glass, if they accept, you pour. They drink. They make a distorted face from the taste. They look for a chaser. Something to wash the taste away. Chaser is nonexistent. "Oh no!" says their face. They now are legally allowed to force a shot glass into your hands (I don't make the rules), to deliver a counterattack. Now for me, pretty sure I was taken advantage of, because I know for a fact the same guy got me to take shots on multiple occasions, but always just happened to have a full shot in his possession before my return hit. I'll get him one day. I guarantee it.

-There's a dog chained up somewhere close outside, who apparently is the loneliest dog on the planet. Some nights I hear him howling until 5 a.m., but it threw me off at first, because it doesn't sound like a howl, but more like a frightened cow lowing in the barn. Seriously, when Malia and I heard it the first time, we were freaking out, thinking a Korean ghost was haunting us (It had to be a Korean ghost, because American ghosts don't howl like that. They go "ooOOooo, woogidy, woogidy, woogidy"). Well, she was scared, I wasn't. I laugh in the face of danger, hahahahaa (which movie, guys?)!

-This country and I have something very important in common-we love to eat. There are restaurants EVERYWHERE, at least I think they're restaurants since I can't technically read any signs to know for sure. The only food signs I have down pat are samgyopsal 삼겹살 and soegogisal 소고기살, my two favorite things to eat so far. Both are barbecued at the center of your table, first one being pork belly, the latter tender strips of lowing cow. Both are wrapped in lettuce leaves, topped with ssamjang (a sweet/spicy red pepper paste), garlic, and seasoned leeks or green onion. You fold the lettuce over and over until you have a manageable bite, then have at it. Despite what you may read (I've read opposing views), Koreans love taking huge bites and talking with mouths stuffed full. I was lucky enough to be invited for dinner at my co-teach's house. Everyone was there to meet me, even Grandma made an appearance. Food was astounding, some sort of Korean burrito; cheese, meat, pineapple, apple, tomato, noodles, spicy sauce, lettuce wrapped in rice paper. I had about 9 burritos (I was racing her uncle, a 6 foot 4 former Seoul University basketball player). They just kept throwing food on my plate, and loved watching me eat. Reminds me of Mamaw!

-There's quite a difference between observed traffic laws in Korea and the US. Although most of drivers in the ole colonies like to pick and choose which laws they want to toss out the window, the majority, I would think, hope really, come to a halt at a red light. This is not so in Korea. I think it's acceptable driving etiquette to breeze right through the light if it looks "clear", and i put clear in quotations because sometimes their ideas of clear are far from it (if you're crossing the street, during a red light, you have the right away, right? nahhh, some cars, mostly taxis, seem to miss seeing you there.). I guess the absence of police here lets people know it's alright. It somehow works, though. I haven't seen any accidents whatsoever, no dead bodies on crosswalks either.

-On a more solemn note: Two of my classes have students with learning disabilities, and I wasn't able to pinpoint what the deal was for a while. To be honest, I still don't know what the issues are, but nevertheless, something is missing. One kid, a 6th grader, is unable to speak. Not sure if he's mute, can't speak English, or just chooses not to try. One of my more advanced students told me he had some issues, but I am not sure how much faith I can put into a 12 year old, even one as smart as this kid. In my 4th grade class, there are two students that are constantly behind, and I can bet that's how it's going to stay, as there seems to be absolutely no initiative present. One of 'em has an English speech impediment, and can hardly get the words out, let alone get them out coherently. The other kid will not stay seated, at all. I only think he'll be somewhat calm if the co-teach is in the room, and even then he's in and out of the classroom. This same kid bothers me all throughout the day, and insists on trying to hug me and hold my hand. By the way, most of the co-teachers that are supposed to be in the rooms to help out disappear, I guess as soon as it looks like I have everything under control, which sometimes is after 5 minutes. After observing him a little more (i.e. just a minute ago I watched some of the kids playing soccer outside, pesky kid included. He had ball control, speed, somewhat focus, and seemed to be getting along fine.), I am thinking he has severe ADD. Overly diagnosed I know, but I am a doctor so I am fairly confident in myself.

Hyopo Elementary School

RJ, Steve, and Malia in RJ's hometown Chungju.

Whoaaa so artsy. Found this dandy while hiking in Chungju.

Two of my 5th graders.

First week in new land. Chris Columbus ain't got nothin..

You know, I never considered myself a writer, and probably never will. I’ll leave that to the people who actually do a good job at it. However, there is just too much going on to pass up writing about it. Some of these things must be documented, must be jot down, for as funny and obscure as they seem, I sadly know that they will be forgotten in time. With that said, it all started when. No wait, once upon a time..

I’ll start with the beginning, and trust me, brevity will be my friend on this one (maybe). I don’t want to bore myself out, why do it to you? Trip’s not bad at all. I wake up at 5 a.m. and hop on my first flight at 7:30 from Charlotte to San Francisco. My first trip to California, although I hardly call sitting in a hot airport surrounded by Koreans and my luggage en route to Seoul a “trip to California.” Steve and Malia make it to the terminal about an hour after I do, and soon we are boarding Asiana Airlines, one of two airlines out of South Korea (the other being Korean Air). Since a handy little Korean man insists on taking one of my carry-ons (as it will not fit in overhead bin, he says, and clearly he has no faith in my Tetris-like packing abilities), I end up praising it as I have the most glorious leg room on the 12.5 hour flight to Seoul/Incheon. The flight is honestly one of my best. The in-flight service outstanding, you really gotta hand it to those peeps across the pond. I think they begin serving us stuff as we are taking off, which is awesome but dangerous, right? I guess they have good-enough balance to do it as we are at a 45 degree incline. Let me think…I am not sure if this is the correct order, but we are given hot towels (a first for me, and it’s pleasantly surprising giving the fact that my body and hands are on fire from traveling and sitting for the last 8 hours), slippers to wear for the duration of the flight, headphones, 2 full meals, at least 17 rounds of drinks (which I deny wholeheartedly as anyone who knows me knows of my travel bladder), and several rounds of snacks. Oh yeah, alcohol is free to everyone too (newborns, too), even though I settled for one beer (refer to previous statement).

We arrive after 3 movies and multiple naps in Incheon, an uber large airport that most everyone flies into when visiting Korea. After some luck, we contact our guest house to arrange an airport pick-up and within minutes, we are in our airport guest house, which looks like some strange government building; completely quiet except for a random crying baby somewhere in a distant room (that’s not government-esque, I know), and long hallways with strange-looking gray doors that make odd Star Trek beeps when opening/closing. We settle in for the night after finding an internet café (PC Bang) and grabbing some dinner (spicy pork and weird-but-tasty vegetables).

Our driver arrives at the hotel around 9:15 a.m. Monday, saying nothing but “Hurry up!” (we later discover his vernacular consists mainly of “Hurry up,” “Get out,” and “The traffic is trepid on Mondays”) and shooing us into the miniscule elevator. The ride is not bad, though, considering it was a mostly silent ride with me in shotgun attempting to converse with the driver. I wish I had my camera ready for some scenes, the most memorable being traffic personnel that turned out to be mannequin-like robots with moving-arms to direct traffic, complete with a block head and Lego-style smiley faces. In less than 3 hours, we arrive at my school first, Hyopo Elementary School. I am greeted by a fellow teacher, and since I have yet to know his name, we’ll call him KT1 (Korean Teacher 1, very serious thought went into that name). KT1 helps me in with my luggage, and upon entering, we take our shoes off to put on black sandals. I guess during the madness I completely forgot this is the custom, which is awesome since I will never have to hike around in dress shoes. I meet the Principal, VP, et al, and soon my co-teacher, Park Young Gle (Miss Park). She shows me around the place, which looks really nice and organized. Outside reminds me a little of the Caribbean, complete with a dirt soccer field and houses stacked up on the sides of the mountains. I am shown my classroom, where I will be teaching 3^rd-6^th grade, and Kindergarten on Fridays. After some delicious lunch (I originally thought was free, but was told via a Korean message board it’s only free for students), I am driven to my apartment by a Mr. Oh, who speaks zilch English, but attempts to act like he does by nodding and laughing to everything I say. My apartment is only 5 minutes from my school (awesome) and pretty nice inside, boasting an extra bedroom , and luckily a good-sized bathroom to rub in RJ’s face (for those of you who do not know, RJ my old roommate got the short end of the straw when it comes to bathroom space). I suppose jet lag is still lingering a teensy bit, as I end up sleeping from a little after 6, finally arising 12 hours later.

Okay, I have come to the realization that this is dragging on, and will take forever. I probably have lost any semblance of an audience by now, and alas am typing to myself, alone, simultaneously staring at this dumb green pig with blue eyes some past tenant ingeniously thought to use as a makeshift piggy bank by cutting an uneven slot on its head. What’s even worse is that I haven’t thrown it out yet, it’s just sitting here staring back at me, and it has absolutely no money in it. He’s even got a bow on his head, although come to think of it, it’s probably a girl pig. It does have some “just-came-from-a-salon” eyelashes. Three of ‘em on each side. Yup.

So I am going to curtail this madness by using simple *dashes* from now on. Bullet points are overdone; the power of *dashes* is underrated.

-First teaching day: Driven to medical center by my Vice Principal in silence (I’m getting used to this) to be screened before I can obtain an Alien Registration Card. For class, I have prepared a presentation of yours truly to get the students familiar with me, and to reciprocate, I have them decorate a card with their English name, their favorite animals, foods, etc. Day goes well, but again I am so tired I pass out before I can eat dinner.

-Second teaching day (Wednesday): No class, as I will eventually be teaching at a different school, which I am driven to by, again, silent Vice Principal. I meet the other school (Taepong Elementary, or something) staff and VP, who reminds me of a Harry Potter character; tall and gangly wearing nothing but black. One of the other wizarding worlds’ headmaster, yeah that’s it. Pretty sure the HP character was English though, small difference.

-Get to play volleyball with my school and another in front of all staff and our students, after being treated to Korean sausage, makkoli (Korean rice wine) and other unusuals. Am pleasantly surprised to see my entire school’s staff plays a great game (VP comes ready with knee pads, whole school dons a nice green polo), and am looking forward to doing this every Wednesday, minus the food and drink (special occasion).

Thursday: First actual day of teaching my lessons, and it goes very well indeed. Students have fun, I learn some things I should and shouldn’t focus on. Good all-around day especially since staff now sees me as a good addition to their volleyball squad as attacker (I quote from one of the administrators…”Eh..yesterday..volleyball……..eh, you are BEST player!”), it’s good to be recognized. Of course now it’s gone to my head, which is so metaphorically big that it’ll get in the way of my playing and probably bounce right off it before I can spike it, causing us to lose points and ultimately, the game. Sigghh, had a good run. Fun while it lasted.

-One last quick note...I had some desk warming time on Wednesday when some kids, I think 3^rd or 4^th grade, came in to say a few words (and I don’t mean the cliché “to say a few words”, they just only have a few words in their English vocabulary). It dawned on me who some of the younger ones remind me of. For one, there’s no way they’re speaking Korean. It sounds like an utterly, completely, fantastically different language only they understand. These kids are groping my arms, feeling my arm hair, grabbing my watch and copper wristband, drawn to its shiny power like fish in water. These kids are ewoks. They have to be related to ewoks from Star Wars. And their language is a branch of some root language, the same root language ewok language comes from. Like an ewok romance language system, but instead of beautiful French and Spanish stemming from Latin, it’s a guttural nonsensical language spewed out by little aliens. They couldn’t be more ewok unless they had fur-covered, little round bodies and sticks to poke me with (and I bet if they caught me outside, they’d be ready, sticks in hand).

Flight to San Fran over the Rockies

My 12.5 hour home

English classroom-and it's alllll mine (Jafar's voice)