Jeremy Lrikes Spring, Vacation the Weather Is Warm

Just a few funnies from my classes this week...

-Sometimes I find that I don't have enough time at work to plan/finish planning all lessons, so I resort to just "planning" on winging the textbook section of my lesson, if that's possible.  All my lessons include triple amount out-of-book activities, because the dry curriculum is just that, dry. But beyond that. It's awful. Plain awful. I would feel bad for the kids to sit through the videos they put on the CDs, but I have to endure them too. What is difficult is when I come across something I haven't prepared for, i.e. an incorrect grammar piece on one of the conversation videos. Came across this yesterday, during a video where two characters are asking directions to a doughnut shop. When they seem confused by the directions given, the woman tells them to just follow her, by saying "Let's come along with us." It's tough, because I don't want them to ever see that again, but they get tested on the book's material. Alas, one of the pitfalls of a crummy curriculum development team.

Unrelated photo: Malia and I love eating this seaweed stuffed with rice as a side to our dinners here.

-At my smaller school, the English level is LOW. I was surprised to find out, however, that my students grasp numbers fairly well. They did an activity during a "What are these? They are my _________. How many ________ do you have? I have ____ _________." lesson. They had to draw an item, and number that item for the dialogue ([draw]pencils x 36), and the partner is told "higher" or "lower" to the first guess if it's incorrect. They keep guessing until they get it. One kid drew erasers x 54. His partner starts off his guesses with like 5, increasing by 1 each time, until I help him by telling him to guess 80. "Lower." "79.......78......." I tell him to try 60, as we are almost out of time. "Lower (laughing)." "59....58....57.....56....55.....53" ........!!!...kid, come on. You had me convinced my teachings weren't in vain! The laughter from his partner and my bewilderment must of helped him trigger his gaffe, as he quickly got the answer and scurried out the door when I dismissed them.

-Sixth grade. Lesson: Spring is here. New vocabulary: vacation. Word "vacation" temporarily replaces (just one student): because. Target language: My favorite season is _________, because ________. Sentence becomes "My favorite season is summer vacation I have a summer vacation." Why? "Vacation I have summer vacation."....Sounds like someone suffering from an attention disorder who likes run-on sentences. Sounds like every student I've taught...Funny, though!

-My 1st and 2nd graders are grouped together, and the second grade teacher sits in to help control the chaos. Now, when Koreans say any word, English or Korean, that has an /i/ sound after an /s/ sound, it sounds like /sh/. For instance, "sin" would be "shin", and "cinderblock" would be "shinderblock." Don't know where I got those examples from. Anyway, it's quite funny when she tells the students to sit down....

-In that same sixth grade class, I had to explain to the students that saying "I like summer because I can go swimming at the beach" is correct, whereas "....because I can swimming at the beach" isn't. Then I had a mental breakdown, thinking how hard it is for ESL or EFL learners to grasp grammar, when I could also teach these as correct: I can swim, I can go swimming, I like swimming, I like to go swimming, I like going swimming, I swim, I like to swim, etc. Yes, these aren't always the same when given the context, but wow is it tough to face (especially when most students have Korean teachers who don't know the correct ways).

My Kids Are No Match for the Eyebrow

A couple of notes of my youngest young ones...


-Last week, as noted by the previous post, the Superintendent came by for a school visit. The table I usually sit at was full, so I sat over and one table back, level with the first graders a couple tables across. Now, these kids are little monsters in the classroom with no teacher. With the exception of one of the staff's daughter, they know "apple" and the alphabet.....er, the gist of the alphabet....er, the tune of the ABC song. It doesn't bother me much, because if they are going to throw 20 kids, some as young as 4, in my room with no teacher, then they can't expect me to do more than babysit them. So I accept it, teach them colors, and ABCs as best as I can, but there's only so much attention they give until all that is heard is their cute little voices. However, out of the classroom, specifically at lunch, is a different scene.  They don't stop staring at me and smiling, waving. Who am I to not return the gesture? But I can't just wave, that's boring. So I start bobbing my right eyebrow (I can only do my right, yes. Trying with the left results in a look similar to Joey from Friends trying to do high school-level math problems in his head------difficult reference, I know), while with my left hand doing a silly clap-wave, like a hand puppeteer with no sock on their hand. This leads the initial kid to hysterics, which in turn leads to a domino effect; one by one the group to watch me repeat my movements grows larger, until the whole 1st grade class is turned, completely disregarding their food, to watch me. Mind you, I did not stop eating or chewing the whole time. I mean, who am I to disappoint the kids? But that doesn't mean I have to forego my stomach's needs in the process. Lunch by the way is spectacular. They want to impress some of the Office of Education's Officers of Education by serving, as the main portion, a slightly spicy mixture of pork, mushrooms, onions, carrots, and some unknowns in a delicious brownish sauce over rice. No complaints there.


-Today, my Kindergartners at my other school were pretty darn cute. As I enter the room, the students rush over yelling !!!영어 선생님 :))-->>!!! English Teacher :)), then immediately sit on my feet, hug my legs, and play tug of war with my arms. There are 11 of them doing this. Have mercy, kids! Thankfully, they know it's just a greeting attack, and back off soon after. At one point, I am down on the floor with them passing out coloring sheets and chanting colors, when one kid climbs on my back to ask me for a piece of paper and a blue crayon. He is so little that I hardly notice him clambering up.... I won't do this, but I really want to see how many of them I can carry at once. I'm thinking 2 on each arm, and 3 on my back??? Maybe on my last day... Anyway, later on at lunch, three of these same kids manage to lock themselves in the lunchroom. No one notices 5 hands pressed up against the door, with 1 other hand straining to turn the handle. Fruitless efforts. They have a high-pitched squeal going on, and it makes me think something disastrous is happening that they must escape from. Attack of the Radioactive Kimchi, maybe. Lucky for them, I was walking up to leave as I saw this, and pried them away gently so I could help them get away from the RK. Republic of Korea. No, wait. Radioactive Kimchi. I'm losing it...

Jeremy Meets the 충청남도교육청 Superintendent...Kinda

I notice that it has been over a month since I posted on my blog. Sorry, Blog. I have no excuses. It seems like everyone I've talked to has had an increase in workload, including myself, so maybe time is more of the essence and the issue to the missing blog posts? Ehh, probably not. You're right, Blog, if I have time to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition while simultaneously reading The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Regular-Sized Edition, I have time to jot down the funnies of my job and life.

Today, March 14, was a special day. Just one week ago I was told that the Superintendent of the Chungcheongnamdo Office of Education (the Korean in the title refers to this) would be coming to our school to witness 3 students of mine recite an English dialogue, and that I needed to write opening and closing remarks. No problem. I am used to this thing and have no issue with it whatsoever. I did, however, try to keep in mind the worst case scenario: someone telling me 2 minutes prior to the show that I would have to prepare a 5 minute speech, and right after I would have a monitored class. I feared this because these things happen! Usually, in my case, it's for the better. "Jelemi...today class....no." But you need to keep on your toes and be prepared for the worst. I perhaps worried more than I should, given what I know now. But hey, rather breathe a sigh of relief from unnecessary preparation than sweat in inappropriate places because of a potential embarrassment or disaster. Here goes...

I have never seen such frantic action among my coworkers. I am used to hearing the Stewie-like quick footsteps up and down the hall all day, but this was...I mean, jeez. And it's a well-known fact that things here are usually put off until the last second. Today however, it seemed that only last minute finishing touches needed to be put into effect. I was impressed. All of the classrooms were thoroughly cleaned, teacher's office was arranged nicely, posters were put up, transition pictures of the school were framed and put up (I have never seen the school's change from the 1960s to today, it is pretty cool), the dirt soccer field was....mowed??..and painted, and everyone was handed nice Korean name tags. I liked it, because I finally knew some names (Knew, because now that they're off, I forgot them. It's hard to keep up with names like geul, jang, byeol, etc.). The Roadrunners that I spoke of earlier did things like last second dusting, and cleaning the slippers by the entrance for the guests.

I'll now switch tenses to make this more suspenseful (quite boring in the past tense, I suppose). Now. I have been told that he, the Superintendent, will be arriving at 11, and this morning I am told to go to the teacher's office at 11 for pictures. Time comes, and I descend the stairs, sweaty palmed because I just know I am going to walk into an ongoing meeting, the co-teacher forgot to tell me it was actually 10:30, not 11:00, and everyone's going to look up at the late English Teacher who can't even tell time. Rude. Thankfully, the room's empty, save for a couple administrative staff members, and two guys I've never seen before. Crap! I don't know what the Superintendent looks like! I checked the Provincial Office website earlier, saw a picture of him, and can even see it now. But yearbook-style pictures here are so terribly off of the real thing. Usually the person is much older, and has different color skin, eyes, and a happy expression. So I don't know if I just greeted the Superintendent and now have my back turned on him. Too late to change anything, I've got to sit here and wait to see if someone introduces me, to embarrass me further.

I'll speed this up. The room fills soon enough with men in their nicest suits, women in really nice clothing (they know how to dress up here), and at 11:30, the Science Teacher runs in to yell something, probably "He's coming! He's coming!!" We all stand up, push our chairs in, and watch as 20 people slowly file in, led by a smiling, friendly-looking guy. He goes around one-by-one, shaking hands and saying hello. We are then ushered outside to take a group photo, and then I am told to rest. "We are finishie." What? He just got here, right? We've got to go see the show and the recital. I have to introduce him and fumble around in English for 5 minutes. Okay, so what do we do next? "Rest. Lunchie at 12. Then 6 grade class. Then finishie." And then the English dialogue practice? "Ha, ha! Noooo! Finishie!" So he wasn't late, he just went to see the English show that whole time. Really would've thought the English Teacher needed to be there, but just goes to show, you never know what will happen. The only work I do for the whole thing is the opening/closing speech, and I help with breaking down all the tables. Word, free workout and I got some nice garden gloves out of it.

End note: As I am "finishie"ing up this post, I get a room call from my co-teacher asking me if I want to "milk". I don't know what the heck that means, but for some reason "yes" just spills out. Thankfully, she is referring to getting milk at school, but I will have to pay for 5 days' worth, even though I am at this school just 3 days/week. No spank you. I hope she understands me, and doesn't take the initial spewed "yes" to heart.