A couple of notes of my youngest young ones...
-Last week, as noted by the previous post, the Superintendent came by for a school visit. The table I usually sit at was full, so I sat over and one table back, level with the first graders a couple tables across. Now, these kids are little monsters in the classroom with no teacher. With the exception of one of the staff's daughter, they know "apple" and the alphabet.....er, the gist of the alphabet....er, the tune of the ABC song. It doesn't bother me much, because if they are going to throw 20 kids, some as young as 4, in my room with no teacher, then they can't expect me to do more than babysit them. So I accept it, teach them colors, and ABCs as best as I can, but there's only so much attention they give until all that is heard is their cute little voices. However, out of the classroom, specifically at lunch, is a different scene. They don't stop staring at me and smiling, waving. Who am I to not return the gesture? But I can't just wave, that's boring. So I start bobbing my right eyebrow (I can only do my right, yes. Trying with the left results in a look similar to Joey from Friends trying to do high school-level math problems in his head------difficult reference, I know), while with my left hand doing a silly clap-wave, like a hand puppeteer with no sock on their hand. This leads the initial kid to hysterics, which in turn leads to a domino effect; one by one the group to watch me repeat my movements grows larger, until the whole 1st grade class is turned, completely disregarding their food, to watch me. Mind you, I did not stop eating or chewing the whole time. I mean, who am I to disappoint the kids? But that doesn't mean I have to forego my stomach's needs in the process. Lunch by the way is spectacular. They want to impress some of the Office of Education's Officers of Education by serving, as the main portion, a slightly spicy mixture of pork, mushrooms, onions, carrots, and some unknowns in a delicious brownish sauce over rice. No complaints there.
-Today, my Kindergartners at my other school were pretty darn cute. As I enter the room, the students rush over yelling !!!영어 선생님 :))-->>!!! English Teacher :)), then immediately sit on my feet, hug my legs, and play tug of war with my arms. There are 11 of them doing this. Have mercy, kids! Thankfully, they know it's just a greeting attack, and back off soon after. At one point, I am down on the floor with them passing out coloring sheets and chanting colors, when one kid climbs on my back to ask me for a piece of paper and a blue crayon. He is so little that I hardly notice him clambering up.... I won't do this, but I really want to see how many of them I can carry at once. I'm thinking 2 on each arm, and 3 on my back??? Maybe on my last day... Anyway, later on at lunch, three of these same kids manage to lock themselves in the lunchroom. No one notices 5 hands pressed up against the door, with 1 other hand straining to turn the handle. Fruitless efforts. They have a high-pitched squeal going on, and it makes me think something disastrous is happening that they must escape from. Attack of the Radioactive Kimchi, maybe. Lucky for them, I was walking up to leave as I saw this, and pried them away gently so I could help them get away from the RK. Republic of Korea. No, wait. Radioactive Kimchi. I'm losing it...
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Jeremy Meets the 충청남도교육청 Superintendent...Kinda
I notice that it has been over a month since I posted on my blog. Sorry, Blog. I have no excuses. It seems like everyone I've talked to has had an increase in workload, including myself, so maybe time is more of the essence and the issue to the missing blog posts? Ehh, probably not. You're right, Blog, if I have time to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition while simultaneously reading The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Regular-Sized Edition, I have time to jot down the funnies of my job and life.
Today, March 14, was a special day. Just one week ago I was told that the Superintendent of the Chungcheongnamdo Office of Education (the Korean in the title refers to this) would be coming to our school to witness 3 students of mine recite an English dialogue, and that I needed to write opening and closing remarks. No problem. I am used to this thing and have no issue with it whatsoever. I did, however, try to keep in mind the worst case scenario: someone telling me 2 minutes prior to the show that I would have to prepare a 5 minute speech, and right after I would have a monitored class. I feared this because these things happen! Usually, in my case, it's for the better. "Jelemi...today class....no." But you need to keep on your toes and be prepared for the worst. I perhaps worried more than I should, given what I know now. But hey, rather breathe a sigh of relief from unnecessary preparation than sweat in inappropriate places because of a potential embarrassment or disaster. Here goes...
I have never seen such frantic action among my coworkers. I am used to hearing the Stewie-like quick footsteps up and down the hall all day, but this was...I mean, jeez. And it's a well-known fact that things here are usually put off until the last second. Today however, it seemed that only last minute finishing touches needed to be put into effect. I was impressed. All of the classrooms were thoroughly cleaned, teacher's office was arranged nicely, posters were put up, transition pictures of the school were framed and put up (I have never seen the school's change from the 1960s to today, it is pretty cool), the dirt soccer field was....mowed??..and painted, and everyone was handed nice Korean name tags. I liked it, because I finally knew some names (Knew, because now that they're off, I forgot them. It's hard to keep up with names like geul, jang, byeol, etc.). The Roadrunners that I spoke of earlier did things like last second dusting, and cleaning the slippers by the entrance for the guests.
I'll now switch tenses to make this more suspenseful (quite boring in the past tense, I suppose). Now. I have been told that he, the Superintendent, will be arriving at 11, and this morning I am told to go to the teacher's office at 11 for pictures. Time comes, and I descend the stairs, sweaty palmed because I just know I am going to walk into an ongoing meeting, the co-teacher forgot to tell me it was actually 10:30, not 11:00, and everyone's going to look up at the late English Teacher who can't even tell time. Rude. Thankfully, the room's empty, save for a couple administrative staff members, and two guys I've never seen before. Crap! I don't know what the Superintendent looks like! I checked the Provincial Office website earlier, saw a picture of him, and can even see it now. But yearbook-style pictures here are so terribly off of the real thing. Usually the person is much older, and has different color skin, eyes, and a happy expression. So I don't know if I just greeted the Superintendent and now have my back turned on him. Too late to change anything, I've got to sit here and wait to see if someone introduces me, to embarrass me further.
I'll speed this up. The room fills soon enough with men in their nicest suits, women in really nice clothing (they know how to dress up here), and at 11:30, the Science Teacher runs in to yell something, probably "He's coming! He's coming!!" We all stand up, push our chairs in, and watch as 20 people slowly file in, led by a smiling, friendly-looking guy. He goes around one-by-one, shaking hands and saying hello. We are then ushered outside to take a group photo, and then I am told to rest. "We are finishie." What? He just got here, right? We've got to go see the show and the recital. I have to introduce him and fumble around in English for 5 minutes. Okay, so what do we do next? "Rest. Lunchie at 12. Then 6 grade class. Then finishie." And then the English dialogue practice? "Ha, ha! Noooo! Finishie!" So he wasn't late, he just went to see the English show that whole time. Really would've thought the English Teacher needed to be there, but just goes to show, you never know what will happen. The only work I do for the whole thing is the opening/closing speech, and I help with breaking down all the tables. Word, free workout and I got some nice garden gloves out of it.
End note: As I am "finishie"ing up this post, I get a room call from my co-teacher asking me if I want to "milk". I don't know what the heck that means, but for some reason "yes" just spills out. Thankfully, she is referring to getting milk at school, but I will have to pay for 5 days' worth, even though I am at this school just 3 days/week. No spank you. I hope she understands me, and doesn't take the initial spewed "yes" to heart.
Today, March 14, was a special day. Just one week ago I was told that the Superintendent of the Chungcheongnamdo Office of Education (the Korean in the title refers to this) would be coming to our school to witness 3 students of mine recite an English dialogue, and that I needed to write opening and closing remarks. No problem. I am used to this thing and have no issue with it whatsoever. I did, however, try to keep in mind the worst case scenario: someone telling me 2 minutes prior to the show that I would have to prepare a 5 minute speech, and right after I would have a monitored class. I feared this because these things happen! Usually, in my case, it's for the better. "Jelemi...today class....no." But you need to keep on your toes and be prepared for the worst. I perhaps worried more than I should, given what I know now. But hey, rather breathe a sigh of relief from unnecessary preparation than sweat in inappropriate places because of a potential embarrassment or disaster. Here goes...
I have never seen such frantic action among my coworkers. I am used to hearing the Stewie-like quick footsteps up and down the hall all day, but this was...I mean, jeez. And it's a well-known fact that things here are usually put off until the last second. Today however, it seemed that only last minute finishing touches needed to be put into effect. I was impressed. All of the classrooms were thoroughly cleaned, teacher's office was arranged nicely, posters were put up, transition pictures of the school were framed and put up (I have never seen the school's change from the 1960s to today, it is pretty cool), the dirt soccer field was....mowed??..and painted, and everyone was handed nice Korean name tags. I liked it, because I finally knew some names (Knew, because now that they're off, I forgot them. It's hard to keep up with names like geul, jang, byeol, etc.). The Roadrunners that I spoke of earlier did things like last second dusting, and cleaning the slippers by the entrance for the guests.
I'll now switch tenses to make this more suspenseful (quite boring in the past tense, I suppose). Now. I have been told that he, the Superintendent, will be arriving at 11, and this morning I am told to go to the teacher's office at 11 for pictures. Time comes, and I descend the stairs, sweaty palmed because I just know I am going to walk into an ongoing meeting, the co-teacher forgot to tell me it was actually 10:30, not 11:00, and everyone's going to look up at the late English Teacher who can't even tell time. Rude. Thankfully, the room's empty, save for a couple administrative staff members, and two guys I've never seen before. Crap! I don't know what the Superintendent looks like! I checked the Provincial Office website earlier, saw a picture of him, and can even see it now. But yearbook-style pictures here are so terribly off of the real thing. Usually the person is much older, and has different color skin, eyes, and a happy expression. So I don't know if I just greeted the Superintendent and now have my back turned on him. Too late to change anything, I've got to sit here and wait to see if someone introduces me, to embarrass me further.
I'll speed this up. The room fills soon enough with men in their nicest suits, women in really nice clothing (they know how to dress up here), and at 11:30, the Science Teacher runs in to yell something, probably "He's coming! He's coming!!" We all stand up, push our chairs in, and watch as 20 people slowly file in, led by a smiling, friendly-looking guy. He goes around one-by-one, shaking hands and saying hello. We are then ushered outside to take a group photo, and then I am told to rest. "We are finishie." What? He just got here, right? We've got to go see the show and the recital. I have to introduce him and fumble around in English for 5 minutes. Okay, so what do we do next? "Rest. Lunchie at 12. Then 6 grade class. Then finishie." And then the English dialogue practice? "Ha, ha! Noooo! Finishie!" So he wasn't late, he just went to see the English show that whole time. Really would've thought the English Teacher needed to be there, but just goes to show, you never know what will happen. The only work I do for the whole thing is the opening/closing speech, and I help with breaking down all the tables. Word, free workout and I got some nice garden gloves out of it.
End note: As I am "finishie"ing up this post, I get a room call from my co-teacher asking me if I want to "milk". I don't know what the heck that means, but for some reason "yes" just spills out. Thankfully, she is referring to getting milk at school, but I will have to pay for 5 days' worth, even though I am at this school just 3 days/week. No spank you. I hope she understands me, and doesn't take the initial spewed "yes" to heart.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Funnies At Work Pt. II
1. Was driven home by 6th Grade Teacher Man (some call him Mr. Kim) today after school. I asked him who would take the place of the pregnant 3rd grade teacher (some call her Mrs. Kim, there are lots of "Kims"), who is due probably at this very moment, once she departs. After getting a less-than-straight answer we, for some reason, begin to go over the length-of-stay formula for Korean teachers: They change schools every 5 years, and the principal changes every 4, mandatory change.
It's hard to justify conversations between my coworkers and me via blog, so just imagine a lot of slowed-down speech, frequent pauses, and misinterpretation.
Mr. Kim: "This year...many, many teachers.. leave Hyopo [my school]. Change school."
Me: "Oh-really? Who-is-leaving?"
Mr. Kim: "...First grade teacher..................third grade teacher...........that is all."
Me: ".......Oh! [muttering] Remind me to teach him the word 'many'....Are-you-staying-at-Hyopo?"
Mr. Kim: ".............yes........................................................................"
Me: "Oh okay.....I'm going to pretend to stare at the passing mountains as if this is the first time I have seen then, something I do too frequently in times of awkward silences."
2. Since late-December, as most of you know, I haven't had a regular class. Well, not until Friday the 3rd. For 6 weeks or so, minus my vacation, I was teaching winter camps and going to school until noon. It's a weird situation they put the students in. They have 6 weeks off for vacation, they come back, and not even 2 weeks later they have another 10 days off or so for Spring Break. Then, they "graduate" to the next grade levels. From what I've read on the online blogs, most English teachers don't even teach during this period between vacations, and some are even advised to just watch movies with the students. Seems pointless, but what the hey. Ramblings aside, I decided to do some fun lessons for the kids. Today, I had my students make Chinese New Year lanterns, decorating them with their names, birth year, Chinese zodiac animal, and the animal name in English. They turned out really well. The 4th graders ended up with the Year of the Dragon, and all the girls wanted a cute little bug-eyed dragon to draw, and the boys all wanted a manly dragon, which was nice because I found both doing a Google Image search. All the boys wanted me to draw the muscular dragon arms for them, and I of course DID. Who doesn't like drawing dragons that lift weights? Anyway, this class was right after my 3rd grade class, and went much smoother. The third grade class was very enthusiastic, which was nice. BUT, they couldn't agree on a picture, and one kid was born in a different year, so he was the Year of the Snake, while everyone else was the Year of the Horse. I had to switch back and forth to help the single snakester, but every time I did that students would erase their horses and start drawing snakes. "No, no!" I cried. "Your horse is okay. Don't erase!" *Click* is the sound made when I switch back to the snake 3 minutes later, pre-lantern papers full of beautiful, majestic horses. Next sound I hear? Pencils dropping on tables, erasers quickly becoming smaller as children race to destroy the beauty that is the pencil-drawn horse. Exasperated, I draw the kid's dang snake myself and leave the horse picture up where it should be.
It's hard to justify conversations between my coworkers and me via blog, so just imagine a lot of slowed-down speech, frequent pauses, and misinterpretation.
Mr. Kim: "This year...many, many teachers.. leave Hyopo [my school]. Change school."
Me: "Oh-really? Who-is-leaving?"
Mr. Kim: "...First grade teacher..................third grade teacher...........that is all."
Me: ".......Oh! [muttering] Remind me to teach him the word 'many'....Are-you-staying-at-Hyopo?"
Mr. Kim: ".............yes........................................................................"
Me: "Oh okay.....I'm going to pretend to stare at the passing mountains as if this is the first time I have seen then, something I do too frequently in times of awkward silences."
2. Since late-December, as most of you know, I haven't had a regular class. Well, not until Friday the 3rd. For 6 weeks or so, minus my vacation, I was teaching winter camps and going to school until noon. It's a weird situation they put the students in. They have 6 weeks off for vacation, they come back, and not even 2 weeks later they have another 10 days off or so for Spring Break. Then, they "graduate" to the next grade levels. From what I've read on the online blogs, most English teachers don't even teach during this period between vacations, and some are even advised to just watch movies with the students. Seems pointless, but what the hey. Ramblings aside, I decided to do some fun lessons for the kids. Today, I had my students make Chinese New Year lanterns, decorating them with their names, birth year, Chinese zodiac animal, and the animal name in English. They turned out really well. The 4th graders ended up with the Year of the Dragon, and all the girls wanted a cute little bug-eyed dragon to draw, and the boys all wanted a manly dragon, which was nice because I found both doing a Google Image search. All the boys wanted me to draw the muscular dragon arms for them, and I of course DID. Who doesn't like drawing dragons that lift weights? Anyway, this class was right after my 3rd grade class, and went much smoother. The third grade class was very enthusiastic, which was nice. BUT, they couldn't agree on a picture, and one kid was born in a different year, so he was the Year of the Snake, while everyone else was the Year of the Horse. I had to switch back and forth to help the single snakester, but every time I did that students would erase their horses and start drawing snakes. "No, no!" I cried. "Your horse is okay. Don't erase!" *Click* is the sound made when I switch back to the snake 3 minutes later, pre-lantern papers full of beautiful, majestic horses. Next sound I hear? Pencils dropping on tables, erasers quickly becoming smaller as children race to destroy the beauty that is the pencil-drawn horse. Exasperated, I draw the kid's dang snake myself and leave the horse picture up where it should be.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Funnies At Work
-My first week of Winter Camp is at my rural school, and I want to do something fun. I decide upon a Harry Potter-themed camp since my kids always rave about him. I give Mrs. Chae, my Co-Teacher, a materials list that includes things for them to make wands, cauldrons, various drinks for mixing potions in the cauldrons, a big hat to turn in the Sorting Hat, large pieces of construction paper to turn into House banners, etc. If you don't know what this stuff is, Google search "Harry Potter house banner" and "Harry Potter sorting hat". Luckily, I prepare enough just in case she doesn't bring anything at all. Well, she brings in some stuff, something I can work with. No construction paper or a hat, no long pencils to make wands or paint to paint the wands, but I did get bowls and drinks. Some Coke bottles, tomato juice, and mango juice. Okay, I asked for blue, red, and green Gatorade, but hey, the kids will drink anything. She also brings in some Oreo cookies which I later smash to use as a dirt mixer. Potions class turns out alright, but it's mainly just a competition to see who will drink the nastiest concoction. I must say, these kids are going to be quite the drinkers. Downing bowls full of tomato juice, Coke, and Oreo dirt mixed can't be an easy task. The rest of the week is fairly anticlimactic, except for Thursday when I get to make ddeokbokki with the students. Ddeokbokki (DUCK-boh-kee) is a dish with rice cakes, onions, carrot, cabbage, sometimes meat, and sometimes cheese in a thick spicy sauce. Really good, and the students did a really good job! Click here for a pic of it The recipe calls for just a little bit of sugar, but of course the sugar bowl is completely empty after the class. The students who didn't care too much for the cooking aspect had no problem shoveling spoonfuls in their mouths. Mary Poppins said just a spoonFULL, not FULLS, of sugar helps the medicine go down! Silly Koreans and their faulty subtitles.
-For Christmas, I took a ton of clementines and Reese's PB Cups for the staff at my main school. They LOVED it. It was a huge ego booster and I got so many brownie points that day. So many brownie points. Couldn't even count them. Not one person spit on me that day! Okay, they don't normally, but they especially didn't on this day. On the way to school (I got picked up by my bud, Mr. Jang-a 40-something year old who acts as my personal volleyball trainer and teaches me the ways of a Korean), I learned the word for gift or present, just in case anyone asked me why on Earth I brought food to school. It would've come in handy had I remembered it correctly. I go downstairs at one point to see my Principal just snacking away at the clementines (since coming here, my citric acid intake has increased tenfold, it really is a main staple of Korean diets), smacking his lips and flinging peel everywhere. Good. My brilliant plan has reached the top of the hierarchical totem-pole. Yessss. All is good. Now, all I must do is tell him it's a gift in beautiful, unadulterated Korean-tongue. He tells me to come forward, to enjoy some of these clementines myself. I grab one, but no, he says, take three. I say, nay-nay! "This is a gift! For everyone (expanding my arms like wings), for Hyopo Elementary School!" He looks at me with a half-cocked head, turns to the VP, says something about gift, the word I just clearly said to him. Well, maybe I didn't say it clear enough. "Yes, a gift!" Still nothing. Luckily Miss Park, my Co-Teacher, walks in and helps the Principal figure out what I mean. "Ohh, so I've been saying 'newspaper' this whole time?" Great. Go back and substitute "gift" with "newspaper". Good thing I am okay with laughing at myself, and the word I really said wasn't something evil.
-For Christmas, I took a ton of clementines and Reese's PB Cups for the staff at my main school. They LOVED it. It was a huge ego booster and I got so many brownie points that day. So many brownie points. Couldn't even count them. Not one person spit on me that day! Okay, they don't normally, but they especially didn't on this day. On the way to school (I got picked up by my bud, Mr. Jang-a 40-something year old who acts as my personal volleyball trainer and teaches me the ways of a Korean), I learned the word for gift or present, just in case anyone asked me why on Earth I brought food to school. It would've come in handy had I remembered it correctly. I go downstairs at one point to see my Principal just snacking away at the clementines (since coming here, my citric acid intake has increased tenfold, it really is a main staple of Korean diets), smacking his lips and flinging peel everywhere. Good. My brilliant plan has reached the top of the hierarchical totem-pole. Yessss. All is good. Now, all I must do is tell him it's a gift in beautiful, unadulterated Korean-tongue. He tells me to come forward, to enjoy some of these clementines myself. I grab one, but no, he says, take three. I say, nay-nay! "This is a gift! For everyone (expanding my arms like wings), for Hyopo Elementary School!" He looks at me with a half-cocked head, turns to the VP, says something about gift, the word I just clearly said to him. Well, maybe I didn't say it clear enough. "Yes, a gift!" Still nothing. Luckily Miss Park, my Co-Teacher, walks in and helps the Principal figure out what I mean. "Ohh, so I've been saying 'newspaper' this whole time?" Great. Go back and substitute "gift" with "newspaper". Good thing I am okay with laughing at myself, and the word I really said wasn't something evil.
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