Funnies At Work

-My first week of Winter Camp is at my rural school, and I want to do something fun. I decide upon a Harry Potter-themed camp since my kids always rave about him. I give Mrs. Chae, my Co-Teacher, a materials list that includes things for them to make wands, cauldrons, various drinks for mixing potions in the cauldrons, a big hat to turn in the Sorting Hat, large pieces of construction paper to turn into House banners, etc. If you don't know what this stuff is, Google search "Harry Potter house banner" and "Harry Potter sorting hat". Luckily, I prepare enough just in case she doesn't bring anything at all. Well, she brings in some stuff, something I can work with. No construction paper or a hat, no long pencils to make wands or paint to paint the wands, but I did get bowls and drinks. Some Coke bottles, tomato juice, and mango juice. Okay, I asked for blue, red, and green Gatorade, but hey, the kids will drink anything. She also brings in some Oreo cookies which I later smash to use as a dirt mixer. Potions class turns out alright, but it's mainly just a competition to see who will drink the nastiest concoction. I must say, these kids are going to be quite the drinkers. Downing bowls full of tomato juice, Coke, and Oreo dirt mixed can't be an easy task. The rest of the week is fairly anticlimactic, except for Thursday when I get to make ddeokbokki with the students. Ddeokbokki (DUCK-boh-kee) is a dish with rice cakes, onions, carrot, cabbage, sometimes meat, and sometimes cheese in a thick spicy sauce. Really good, and the students did a really good job! Click here for a pic of it The recipe calls for just a little bit of sugar, but of course the sugar bowl is completely empty after the class. The students who didn't care too much for the cooking aspect had no problem shoveling spoonfuls in their mouths. Mary Poppins said just a spoonFULL, not FULLS, of sugar helps the medicine go down! Silly Koreans and their faulty subtitles.

-For Christmas, I took a ton of clementines and Reese's PB Cups for the staff at my main school. They LOVED it. It was a huge ego booster and I got so many brownie points that day. So many brownie points. Couldn't even count them. Not one person spit on me that day! Okay, they don't normally, but they especially didn't on this day. On the way to school (I got picked up by my bud, Mr. Jang-a 40-something year old who acts as my personal volleyball trainer and teaches me the ways of a Korean), I learned the word for gift or present, just in case anyone asked me why on Earth I brought food to school. It would've come in handy had I remembered it correctly. I go downstairs at one point to see my Principal just snacking away at the clementines (since coming here, my citric acid intake has increased tenfold, it really is a main staple of Korean diets), smacking his lips and flinging peel everywhere. Good. My brilliant plan has reached the top of the hierarchical totem-pole. Yessss. All is good. Now, all I must do is tell him it's a gift in beautiful, unadulterated Korean-tongue. He tells me to come forward, to enjoy some of these clementines myself. I grab one, but no, he says, take three. I say, nay-nay! "This is a gift! For everyone (expanding my arms like wings), for Hyopo Elementary School!" He looks at me with a half-cocked head, turns to the VP, says something about gift, the word I just clearly said to him. Well, maybe I didn't say it clear enough. "Yes, a gift!" Still nothing. Luckily Miss Park, my Co-Teacher, walks in and helps the Principal figure out what I mean. "Ohh, so I've been saying 'newspaper' this whole time?" Great. Go back and substitute "gift" with "newspaper". Good thing I am okay with laughing at myself, and the word I really said wasn't something evil.

The Gang Travels to Seoul: Round 1

Unfortunately, now that I finally got around to the Seoul post, I can't remember enough to make a worthwhile story. I'll just include some tidbits and pictures, which we all know is what you really like to see anyway, right?

-Stayed with some friends from Wilmington, who have been in Seoul since late February and were nice enough to house us for the weekend.

-It's amazing how much English everyone speaks. I hardly used any Korean over the weekend.

-The city is extremely massive, and takes more than an hour by metro (which, by the way, is wonderfully set up) to get from east to west.

-We had Indian food for lunch one day, and during our meal our hosts thought it a wonderful idea to make us do a "Disco Jump". It was a ton of fun, but this close (imagine my index and thumb finger as close together without touching as possible) to being a lot less fun. I don't want to imagine Indian food improperly digested. Yeah...too far. Sorry.

-Saturday night was a ton of fun. After doing some shopping and site seeing all day, we wanted some delicious food and soju. Half a pig and x number of soju bottles later, we made our way through part of the city to go to some bars. Everywhere is packed. Every street, every shop, every bar, every bathroom, every cab, everywhere. It was chaotic and it was awesome. Late at night I met a nice taco vendor that made one hell of a spicy taco, particularly because I told him to lay the hot sauce on thick. I love spicy food, says I. Why am I so dumb and hungry at 2 in the morning? Anyway, aside from losing my friends and half my taste buds, Seoul: Round 1 was a success.

Disco Jump

Indian

People tried driving through this! Note Steve and RJ at bottom right

This one

I've been wanting to write about our first trip to Seoul, but things kept coming up, and I just couldn't find the time. Then, on the last day of classes, I found myself doused with extra time after all my classes were cancelled. Great opportunity to do some blogging, I think to myself! All I have to do is turn on the computer. The last few weeks, my school computer has been on a downward spiral. At first I'd have to restart it once or twice for it to stay on, and like an old car in the cold, it just needed some lovin' to get going. This easy-going approach soon turned to contempt, as the "once or twice" restarts soon doubled, tripled, and I just would have loved to climb to the top of the South Korean flag pole on top of the three-story building and hurl the CPU to the ground. Back to the point, though, because everyday it still eventually came on, and usually the maximum time was around 30 minutes. 59 attempts (attempts meaning automatic and manual restarts) and more than 3 hours later, the computer is able to turn on and stay on for more than 5 minutes. I know what you're thinking, but no, "59" is not a random number I came up with to make the reader understand that "yeah, it took a while". I tallied 59 marks on the white board behind me. Triple counted because even I was shocked. Needless to say, after it finally came to, I was not exactly in the mindset to write, so some Seoul pics and stories are due soon.

I Contract Influenza; Become Pregnant

-I was swarmed like no other by my kindergartners today. They are so cute and amiable, always coming up to give me hugs and whisper in my ear, which would be fine if I had a clue what they were whispering about. One little girl followed me around the entire class asking for something, I think. She could have been really sick, pleading for my help, and I had no idea. This is where having a Co-teacher is extremely helpful, except the teacher didn't seem to notice until 5 minutes before class ended, when she then managed to pry the girl off my back. She's okay though, haven't heard any commotion or ambulances yet. Oh yeah, one kid came up to ask me a question and sneezed on me, so I am fairly sure I have influenza. I did some research and found that the virus is spread by the "ah-choo" of Korean kindergartners 99% of the time.


-Last week, I did my normal Wednesday volleyball games and had dinner afterward. Thursday rolls around, and a coworker pops in my room to say we should go play volleyball again...now. I submit, but tell him I have no gym pants or shoes. That's okay, because he has some in his car. Well, he doesn't, so we get there and I play in jeans and boat shoes until Mr. Jang, the second-grade teacher has the grand idea that we switch shoes. What size do you wear? he asks, to which I reply 267. Okay, wear mine, they are 255, you will be okay. Later checking the conversion, that's going from a 10.5 to a size 9 shoe. Walking in them would be fine, but repeatedly running and jumping like a monkey did things to me. Scarred my feet for life. My feet were molded to the shoe afterward; they looked like the feet of Chinese women in the late 19th-early 20th century. Not sure what I mean? Google "Chinese women feet" in images and see for yourself. Note: not for the squeamish. After volleyball three of us go to play Korean billiards, which is a completely foreign and difficult-yet-awesome experience for me. Will try and get a video of it next time, as the 6th grade teacher who played is amazing at it.


-Still am getting used to the "eat/drink while it's boiling hot" ideal here. They finish their soup and coffee before I even start. I seriously feel like I am racing them every time I eat, except they look relaxed and I look like a bumbling idiot with steam coming from my pores.


-Went to an upscale buffet after volleyball one week, called Viking Buffet. Honestly the best buffet I have ever been to. Steak bar, sushi bar (fresh sushi to my Wilmington readers, not China Buffet off Market street quality where they find beached-fish and throw it atop something that resembles rice), freshly grilled pork, bacon-wrapped somethingorothers, elegant chicken and seafood dishes, amazing tempura, fresh-squeezed kiwi, mango, and strawberry juices, cakes and pies and fresh fruits and cheeses, et cetera. After 5 plates, a beer and 3 glasses of juice, they all pointed to me in delight. I never disappoint in countries where dining is the way of life (Spain, Italy, Korea). I just sit back, smile, talk about how delicious it is, and pat my tummy, which they get a laugh at. I keep wanting to throw in a food baby joke, but knowing their stance on premarital relations holds me back. Since I am not married to the food, it might come off as tasteless (get it, tasteless food joke? *uneasy chuckle*).

Some Gongju sites and eats